Fred & Gerry's famous 
&

Not So Famous
Quotes
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Fred & Gerry's Quotes Archive


These are stolen so you may do the same, however if you get rich doing so we expect a contribution to our beer fund. Get busy stealing!


 

GREAT QUOTES BY GREAT LADIES


Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened?
-Cora Harvey Armstrong-

 

Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies.

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
-Helen Hayes (at 73)-

I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
-Janette Barber-

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.
-Lily Tomlin-

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
-Carrie Snow-


Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.
-Laurie Kuslansky.

 

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being, hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
-Erma Bombeck.

Old age ain't no place for sissies.
-Bette Davis-.

 

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
-Rhonda Hansome-

The phrase "working mother" is redundant.
-Jane Sellman-


Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.
-Jennifer Unlimited-


Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought
half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

-Charlotte Whitton-

 

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.
-Caryn Leschen-

 

I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack me at once.
-Jennifer Unlimited-

 

If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
-Catherine- 

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not
 dumb -- and I'm also not blonde.
-Dolly Parton-

If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton-

\

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr-

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
-Elayne Boosler-


Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
-Maryon Pearson-

 

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher- 

 

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
Gloria Steinem-

 

I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.
Zsa Zsa Gabor-

 

Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
Eleanor Roosevelt-

 

Reflections of Great Minds on Government

1) Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.
But I repeat myself............Mark Twain

2) I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like
a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the
handle.........Winston Churchill

3) A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend
on the support of Paul................George Bernard Shaw

4) A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow
man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.............G.
Gordon Liddy

5) Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep
voting on what to have for dinner..............James Bovard, Civil
Libertarian (1994)

6) Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor
people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries........Douglas
Casey,
Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University

7) Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey
and car keys to teenage boys.................P.J O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian

8) Government is the great fiction, through which everybody
endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else............Frederic
Bastiat, French
Economist (1801-1850)

9) Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few
short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it.
And if it stops moving, subsidize it..........Ronald Reagan (1986)

10) I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report
the facts...............Will Rogers

11) If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you
see what it costs when it's free..........P.J. O'Rourke

12) If you want government to intervene domestically, you're a
liberal. If you want government to intervene overseas, ! you're a
conservative. If you want government to intervene everywhere, you're a
moderate. If
you don't want government to intervene anywhere, you're an
extremist.......Joseph Sobran,
Former Editor of the National Review (1995)

13) In general, the art of government consists in taking as much
money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the
other.........Voltaire (1764)

14) Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't
mean politics won't take an interest in you..........Pericles (430
B.C.)

15) No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the
legislature is in session.....Mark Twain (1866)

16) Talk is cheap ... except when Congress does it.......Unknown

17) The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a
happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.........Ronald
Reagan

18) The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the
blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of
misery.......
Winston Churchill

19) The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the
taxidermist leaves the skin.......Mark Twain

20) The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to
fill the world with fools.........Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher
(1820-1903)

21) There is no distinctly native American criminal class, , , , , , save
Congress.......Mark Twain

22) What this country needs are more unemployed politicians........Edward
Langley, Artist (1928 - 1995)

23) A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong
enough to take everything you have.........Thomas Jefferson, Famous
Revolutionary
 

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. 
- Ambrose Bierce.

Life is an open door. It can be closed at any time, so don't complain about the draft.

Take the road not taken - the leaves crunch that much louder!

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift. That's why it's called: The Present.

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence because it's spray-painted. 
- Dennis Haire.


Never Drive Faster than Your Guardian Angel Can Fly 
.Unknown

The five most essential words for a healthy relationship:  "I apologize" and "You are right.".

When you realize you've made a mistake, make amends immediately.  It's easier to eat crow when it's still warm.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations!  You have another chance!


A man needs only two tools:  WD40 and duct tape.  If it does not move and should, use the WD40.  If it moves and shouldn't, use the tape.



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